Author: therantinghousewife@gmail.com

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#17

I always stop in the checkout to look at the “Stars: they are just like us” section of US Weekly magazine.  It is beyond ridiculous!  These are just a few of the many published pictures in the “Just Like Us” section and the REAL PICTURE TITLES!!!  SOOOO many to choose from but here are some of my favorites.

‘They take snaps of their kids’
It’s surprising that a famous person takes pictures of her kids?  Why??
I guess she should figure that the paparazzi will take enough for their baby book?

‘They blow out their own candles’
Ok, I’ve heard of outlandish jobs…Umbrella holder, person who puts your clothes on for you,
even a bathroom attendent who helps wipe (yes it’s true).  But I have not heard of an assistant candle blower outer yet!  Is this a common celeb assistant?  Uuuuuhhhh who DOESN’T blow out their own birthday candle?

‘They run while listening to music’
Really, that’s all you could think up Us Weekly?

‘They take their kids to the playground’
This is just sad.  So you become famous and all of a sudden you can’t also
be a mom?   

‘They wait for the ketchup’
Wow!  Poor Audrina slummin it like the rest of us waiting for her 
ketchup to pour on her fries.  So dumb US Weekly.  Who writes this?

‘They vacation with their families’
How is that rare for a celeb?  Aren’t they always vacationing
with their fams.  On yachts and private islands?  At least thats what every
other page of your mag shows.  Please don’t contradict yourself.
BUT MY ALL TIME FAV IS……………………………

‘THEY FEEL THEIR BABY KICK’
Seriously??!!!  So what, you sell a bunch of albums, you become 
immune to all things pregnancy???!!!!  Are you kidding me??!!!
SO DUMB
Had to share cause this always cracks me up.

Get a picture of JLO scrubbin a toilet, Brad Pitt cleaning out the gutters or Brit Brit at the laundromat (oh wait).  Now THOSE would be acceptable for Just Like Us!!!

Posted on

#16

You are going to think I’m crazy…if you don’t already.  But I can’t even write about anything other than Red Bull today, because it is the only thing on my mind.  Sadly, not kidding.  Many years ago I tried Red Bull and thought it was disgusting.  Then about a year later I was in Dallas in the dead of summer.  It was about 120 degrees and HUMID.  I found myself in a van with NO air conditioning and literally felt like I was going to die.  We kept the windows open but the blowing air felt like a hair dryer.  The only thing in the cooler was Red Bull on ice and I drank 8 over the course of a few hours.  Ever since then I have been hooked.  When I say hooked… I mean addicted.  Like a crack addict.  I have single handedly funded that company I am sure of it!

I stopped both times being pregnant and counted down the days until my babies would wean from breast feeding so I could start back up again.  Gross, I know!  So I decided the other day I needed to quit.  I have been drinking about 5 a day (about $10 a day!  I’d be better off smoking!) .  I wake up and crack a cold one the moment I wake up!

Yesterday was my first day of NO Red Bull.  I went out with my mom to keep myself busy.  People have joked that Red Bull can’t be an addiction and that I am just being funny.  I wish I was because yesterday felt like hell.  I was like a drug addict the first day of rehab.  I was so sick I couldn’t drive.  I couldn’t see straight and my head felt like it was going to pop off.  I was nauseous and couldn’t stop shaking!!  I was mad at the world and could not function.  I went to bed at 9pm.  Which is crazy for me.  I just couldn’t handle it anymore.

I woke up this morning shaking and couldn’t deal.  I drank one at 1pm and gave myself the excuse of “I will taper off”…  So basically I’m a failure….  I’m really going to try to keep it at just 1 today…AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.  This is ridiculous.

Any pointers?

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#15

Been a few days since I’ve posted…
Trying to figure out this website thing on my own.  I won’t even tell you how long it took me to get a stupid picture at the top, haha.

We had an amazing weekend and I am still in chill mode from all the relaxing that took place.

Aaaahhhh….

We spent some time at one of my closest friends beach house.  What a lifestyle.  The peaceful sounds of crashing waves, perfect summer weather and bathtub warm jucuzzi- perfect for my beans.

Note to self:  Make $10-20 million in spare time to buy my own beach house in Malibu….

Apparently I wasn’t the only one to find this relaxing….

We also went with My sister and Tyler to The Tall Ships show in Oxnard.  It was gorgeous!  They had a pirate camp set-up, A maritime museum, battle reenactments.  I got to take the kids exploring on all the ships, which sadly was their very first time on a boat (other than the Queen Mary).  It was bittersweet to take them out to the marina.  We met one lady who lived on her 80 ft sailboat and we got to chatting.  She was sweet and had me balling in under 2 minutes!  She too had been raised on a boat with her pops.  He had passed away and her family had sold the boat.  When she had kids of her own she moved them full time onto a little sailboat, they were 1, 3 and 4.  I shared with her that we too had to give up our sailboat a while after dad died and that it was like losing a family member.  Made me long to be on the water.  
Hmmm, have a farm or sell it all and live on a boat…….  They both sound equally amazing and equally fulfilling.  hmmmm, need to win the lottery and do both.  Easy enough.  I’ll start planning now.